Clearing my Circle

I played a lot of hacky sack when I was in university. Like so many of my activities, I'm afraid I did it to the point of obsession. My main partner for the game was Dave. We would find a patch of grass in a park and hack for hours at a time. He used to make fun of me for a particular behaviour that I would engage in as I played. Each time I passed the hacky sack to him, I would quickly grab a pinecone, or a small stick that was in the grass and toss it out of my zone of play, which I called my "spot." Clearing my spot was an obsessive activity that I engaged in every time I played the game. Dave said I reminded him of a squirrel--running round collecting things in the grass and organizing them. I just wanted my area to be clear of debris.

Poor choice during partner's zoom call

25 years later, I was having a conversation with Wendy. I was trying to explain--yet another instance--of why I liked a particular piece of Lululemon clothing. I may have already told you about my love of the men's clothing from this company. They look good, while they allow me to move, and they are easy to clean. They get out of my way and let me do what I am trying to do. I felt like I was hit with a bolt of lightning--wearing good clothing allowed me to do more of what I wanted to do--I was clearing my spot. I've been doing it my entire adult life, but didn't know why, or how to optimize the process. 

Growing up in my family, we talked a lot about having fun, taking responsibility, being good, etc... One thing we never discussed was planning or preparing to do something. Okay, it is not that we NEVER discussed the virtue of being prepared or organized, but rather that I was predisposed to not learn it and my parents weren't overly concerned with the concept. As a result, I really had no learned skills in this area. I've always been quick to respond, so I think I devised a way to engage in the activities (or responsibilities) that I chose by just starting to do them. When something got in my way, I would toss it out of my spot and continue. To be sure, this eliminates the need for preparing, but is only effective for things that don't require all of my resources or don't have a finite time to finish. I need to be able to account for many, many interruptions in anything I do, in order to account for things that I didn't anticipate (most things!)

Obviously, this isn't a new concept. Leora tells me that in cooking the concept is called mise en place or "putting in place." Basically, having a well set up work-station and cleaning as you go in order to be prepared for the next thing. If only I had gone to culinary school, I would have avoided years of fumbling around for the most obvious "wisdom."

Mise En Place

I suppose the takeaway for me is that I’ve avoided doing a lot of things in my life out of a sense of fear. At the time, I might tell myself that I wasn’t “good enough” to do something, but the reality would be closer to “I have no idea how to begin or sustain an activity of this complexity.” Now that I understand the rudiments of breaking a task into smaller pieces, getting outside help, and setting deadlines, it is time to stop the narrative in my head that there are things that are “too hard” for me to do. There are only things that I don’t want to put the time or effort into.